Philosophy and Helicopter Parents

This was one of my weekly reflections for my philosophy class. We were discussing childhood and adolescence, and I got to write about one of my favorite topics, "helicopter parents!"

This week we read about issues relating to philosophy and children. In one chapter of the book the author describes the tendency towards increasing rights and autonomy for children, and speculates that this trend will continue. This made me reflect on a recent trend in higher education, commonly referred to as “helicopter parents.”

This term is used to describe parents of college students who are always hovering over their children, prepared to swoop down and involve themselves in their students’ lives. When used by faculty and staff in higher education “helicopter parent” is often meant as a criticism, to suggest that these parents are overly involved with their children’s lives, and are obstructing their path to maturity and independence.

I see this as connected to our reading this week because it revolves, in large part, around the definition of child and adult, and the relationship between children and their parents. There are different theories about the apparent increase in “helicopter parents,” but one that has always struck me is the idea that the period of “childhood” has continually lengthened, as we have consistently extend the period between birth and adulthood.

For example, my understanding is that adolescence is a relatively new concept, and that for much of civilization there was only child and adult. Now we have added (and extended) this additional period, which is not quite childhood, but also not quite adulthood, either.

I often wonder if we are now creating another pre-adult life stage, one we have yet to accurately name, from the age of 17 to the mid 20’s, or even 30. In a wealthy, industrialized country like the US this is the conventional period for students (at least those with a certain level of resources) to attend college, possibly go on to graduate school, and then find their first job. Anecdotally, it seems that many in that age range are maintaining stronger ties to their parents than was previously expected. They often look to their parents for practical support (money and housing), but also advocacy and assistance with life issues. This dynamic, in some ways, is extending the period before they become completely independent adults.

One of the reasons I’ve heard connected to the creation of the concept of adolescence would also apply to this dynamic. Parents and families have more resources to invest in the raising of their young. It isn’t necessary for many middle class American youth to begin supporting themselves and their families when they are 13. They are no longer expected to start a family by their late teens. There is room for an extended period to “grow up.” This could also apply to college age students. Families often expect to support their youth in college (in fact, for many it is now the only way to attend college), and these are very invested in the success of their youth.

At the same time, the extended life-span in the US also means that there is more time to be both a dependent and an adult. The average life expectancy in the US is 78. Even if an individual didn’t become an “adult” until age 30, they would still have 48 years of independence. Compare that to Nigeria, where the average life expectancy is only 46!

In terms of the philosophy of childhood, it seems quite likely that the definition of “child” and “adult”, and the journey from dependent to independent would be affected by these practical and social considerations. In American society we have the luxury of an extended developmental period, a longer period in which individuals can be nurtured before they’re expected to be fully independent.

I should mention, I don’t think this necessarily runs contrary to our contention in our reading that youth will get more rights and freedoms at younger ages. I wouldn’t be surprised if adolescence became longer in both directions; with youth achieving more rights at younger ages, while the age at which they are expected to achieve full independence is simultaneously pushed back.